Write! Write!

It’s been ages since I last posted and there is many reasons why. Firstly, as just shown once again I’ve been having some trouble with my Internet, maybe its the bad weather or the fact that my broadband just can’t support the number of wifi connects currently being used in my house. Whatever the case, it really hasn’t helped and I’ve not been on line much. (A good thing maybe!) I’ve been really ill too and have spend sometime in hospital over the last 2/3 months. No point moaning about it though, getting ill happens to us all and I’m thankful that I’m not as seriously ill as some people are out there. I’ve still been fighting my writer’s block as well, but hopefully that’s becoming a distant memory now, though I still haven’t got started on my new novel as I said for my new year’s resolution! But soon, once I get the ideas flowing again. I guess being involved in a new relationship has also been a bit distracting…but he’s still been getting things done and so should I’ve been! So, I can’t blame anything on that….I guess playing games on line hasn’t helped and the job hunting has really slowed down. I’ve been trying to pick it up though….but I guess it’s like sticking feathers back into a dead duck. Things are just not going my way there and it’s getting to me. Luckily, I still have the support and love of my family and friends, which does make things easier to deal with. My hopes for the new year are to do lots of writing, reading, reviewing, get better, build stronger relationships with people and find a job.


Seeing this year as a kind of gap year has helped. I thought it would give me the chance to experience a bit more of outside life that can’t always be found at uni. However, I wasn’t ready to deal with the cruel and crushing world sitting on the doorstep and things have been a lot harder then I first thought. Saying that I am happy at the minute. I’ve a lot in my life right now and the future is still ahead of me. I’m just having problems finding my feet on the right pathway, but since the summer, I’ve learnt a lot more about myself. For example; the darker side of relationships, how trying is important but knowing when to give up even more so, that there’ll always be help and hope when it’s asked for and that officially giving up on something can sometimes mean finding it again in a different light. Finding yourself is all part of a gap year right? I’m just doing it without the travelling or the work experience….currently.


Actually, this quote from the manga/anime Vampire Knight has got me through the hardest times of last year.




Since writing the review of Rowling’s new book, I’ve not actually finished reading another. I can’t read when I am ill and the escapism that I normally find in reading hasn’t been a big draw to me of late. I think I did start reading something else afterwards, but I can’t remember it and didn’t finish it. I read The Hobbit by Tolkien then in time for the movie, so I might write something about that too. The book I am reading now is worth writing a review on, so I shall make that my next post. Hopefully, I can get back into reading now I’m not as ill. I got a kindle for Christmas, so I have even more books to read and I half fancy writing a review about that. Might be interesting to do. I still have a stack of books to get through though!


I also started working as a volunteer at a youth centre. I can’t remember saying that before as I’d just started in late November. That could do with a post of it’s own though. So that’ll be number 4 now. Well, at least I’ll have a lot to write about this month now and hopefully it’ll give me something to focus on and give my brain the excise that it’s missed writing all those essays….never thought I’d miss that!



Image from: www. fanpop.com


Job searching, applications and interviews

I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile, but I’ve been planning what to write which given the title should be easier enough, but of late my searching has made me think otherwise. This post was actually meant to be about a particular job I applied for and didn’t get, through no fault of my own. I knew in the last few months of uni that looking for a job wasn’t going to be easier and now a month and a half after leaving uni, I am in a worse position. My main problem is I’ve a lot of ideas about what I want to do and what I want to apply for, but no actual focus. What I wanted to do was take a small break and find some temp or part time work, which would allow me to carry on writing and give me time to think of a next step whilst earning some money and get some experience. That seems far from happening, even though Christmas is just around the corner and there are lots of temp jobs out there, I’ve had no luck with any of those applications.

My last interview was last week and I was worried about it because it involved a maths test and a role playing exercise. However, I was willing to just see this as getting experience in that kind of interview and though I did really want the job- It was working for M&S in a new shop- I wasn’t sure if I could meet their requirements. I did well in the maths test though and since that was done first; it meant I could enjoy then rest of the interview. I did the role playing well, so maybe thanks to D&D I’m getting better at that? It was a very simple help the customer buy the right produces test and I was able to show my polite, helpful nature.  Then I was asked a few questions about why I was applying for the job, how flexible I could be, what my future plans were and what I thought was my best skills.
To me that all went very well and they said they’d phone on Monday. I’ve heard nothing all week and have had to come to the realisation that I’ve not got that job. I don’t understand why though, because I thought it went well and they seemed pleased with me. That seems to be a common question after a rejection though and I’ve emailed them to see if they can give me any feedback as to why they decided I wasn’t right. Employers always know what they are looking for and that’s like stating that the customer is always right. Problem is with so many people applying for a single job, employers can afford to be very choosy about who they interview and who gets the job.
That’s why I feel that me and so many other people are currently missing out on jobs they could easily do and be happy to do them as
well. It can be difficult to change this in a country where there are so few jobs and so many people looking.
Maybe at the end of the day I’m just trying too hard, but is that even possible with job hunting? It’s not like I’m setting the bar high, I actually believe it’s low right now and I’ve only been applying for jobs I know I’ve the experience, qualifications and will be happy doing. Mostly, these are retail jobs in the sales assistant category. If more jobs offered the chance to gain experience, instead of just saying they wanted someone with years of experience, it would allow more people to apply, grant employers to train more staff and generate new ideas etc, from people. I get why they often want a level of experience; to prove you can do the job and you can start right away. In some ways though, a lot of the skills and experience I have could easily be applied to many jobs, but I fear that I won’t get them because of my none/lack of experience in that particular area.
I knew that I wouldn’t be walking straight into work when I left uni and I was fine with that. But it feels like an uphill struggle just to find and get interviews for jobs right now. I’ve lost count of how many and where I’ve applied of now, as is bound to happen, when you look every day or every other day and send a CV out to 1-10 different places. I’m getting frustrated by it as my family and friends know all too well. I know that isn’t going to help though and it’s all down to me and what I do. But sometimes, I just wish things could be easier. I wish I wasn’t getting over looked because of my lack of experience or too high qualifications or because there are far better people out there then me.
It is a problem and instead of actually getting a job, I’m looking at going back to uni/college and doing a teaching course, however I’m still unsure about this, but I just don’t know what else to do and at least by doing the course it would give me an even better chance to apply for more jobs. Training in being a supervisor or manger would be something else to consider, but once again I don’t know if that’s the area I want to go into.
Writing is my other thing. I would really like to do something that would involve working with books or writing and there are a lot of jobs you can go into, but it’s very hard to find work and stay in the job. Copywriting and proofreading are the key things I’ve been looking at. With my MA in creative Writing, my mind is switched in to both those areas, so why can’t I find work like that, which would be suitable to me? Knowing the people and networking is a big part of it and also any other job. I’ve never been very good at that, though life has been made easier by the Internet and websites like Linkin, which can be a good place to connect with people.
Other things I’ve been looking at are graduate jobs. These can be really useful for students in their last year/two or fresh out of uni who are struggling to get into work. My issues is that most of these can go on for a few years and are often focused at business students looking at high end manger jobs. I’d like something I can just get into now really and not have to go through the intense training that comes with some of these jobs. They say that uni is meant to give you a clear idea of what you want to do and train you in that role, but sometimes it just doesn’t work that way. I know what I’d like to be doing, but I know I couldn’t make enough money to live off it and I’ve not been looking for publishers of late because that just feels like another stress I could do without. I’ve still be publishing on Amazon Kindle though, because I’m still waiting to see how that goes. I could do with publishing a novel on there and trying to sell that, but I’ve not got any right now I’d be happy to do that with.
It’s odd, but my writing can be effected by stress and where I’d normally find joy and release in fiction writing, if my mood isn’t right, I find that I just can’t work probably. However, if I want to make this into my career then I should be always writing and working on something. Maybe I’ll give it a shot after some food and a rest.
As for job hunting, it is a long, boring process that can involve a lot of time and energy being put in for nothing. But it can also be very rewarding through gaining job interview experience, chance to talk about what you’d like to do and reflection time about your life. Plus you might get a job you want to do at the end of it all and that does make it worth it. There are a lot of lows to the highs though and they have to do with rejection, loss of self-believe, on- going struggles to find suitable work and the loss of hope. Remember though that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and if you want something badly enough and try your hardest then you can always reach out for it.

The Calling Faith

It’s not often I openly discuss my faith with someone. I believe that people have the right to choose if they believe or not and what religion they want to be, regardless of how they were brought up. No one should be forced in to a faith when they are old enough to be aware of it and their own minds. This is because religion can be come a massive part of that person and their thoughts and actions can sometimes reflect their religious teachings. I have nothing against any religion and think that there is one that suits each person and that’s even if you are in the group that doesn’t believe. Historical what religion you supported could have a large impact on your life, but now a days, much more people have turned away from religion and maybe that’s because of science and disproving a lot of what we believed had been fact. I also think it’s because of the way we are bring brought up and society is slowly losing itself to technology.

I’m a Church of England Christian. I was brought up as one and still believe its’ the best faith for me. It suits my own personal beliefs about life and how things should be. This post isn’t about getting people to change religions or to prove that there is some higher powers out there, in fact it’s like the post I wrote about ghosts, it links in to events and reflections about my life right now and I just want to share things with people and get them thinking a bit differently about their own lives.

Up until this Sunday just gone, the last time I went to a church service was Xmas Eve and the carols by candlelight service. There are a number of reason why I stopped going to church, the main two are because I moved to uni and though I could have attended a church there, I didn’t bother. And I stared to loss faith in the victor; no longer finding his sermons enjoyable and inspiring. In fact, I started to disagree with what he was saying in a way. However, I’ve never completely lost my religion and have held on to my belief. I’ve always known that you don’t have to go to church to speak to God. He is everywhere and willing to listen if you take the time to talk to Him.

I’ve been really turning to Him of late for a whole number of reasons. First it was the struggle to get over my ex, then the search for a new boyfriend, then the strength to pass my MA and now it’s the belief to find a job. Saying prayers at night and asking for God’s support and also thanking Him for what I have has been a comfort for as long as I can remember. It’s just nice to have someone to turn to and but your trust in. I also know that sometimes my prayers can be petty. I pray for something in my life and really there’s so much else going on in the world that is far worse then my situation. Of late I’ve just been asking God to give me strength and courage and to guide me when I need it, instead of asking for a job directly. I also ask Him to give the same to my friends and family. I like to support them too and ask God for them when they can’t.

For some reason, I really want to go to church on Sunday. I’m not sure why, but maybe it had something to do with wanting to get back into the fold of my faith. I picked a good Sunday to go as it turned out to be the Harvest. The church was filled with people all there to give food and money to other people who really needed it. There was also a new victor and she really got people going with her sermon. I think that’s a very important part of being a religion’s leader! Seeing my old primary school was also interesting and reminded me so much of being a kid and being fascinated by the stories in the Bible. The children were there to help with the Harvest and to be a part of the community during the time of giving.

When I left I felt really calm and like I had found some inner peace. Somehow I knew not to worry about finding a job and that I should just enjoy my free time and fill it with stuff I want to do. I know that soon I’ll find a job that’s better suited to me, I just have to keep looking and not lose my faith! That can be so hard to do, but I just know that if I believe and keep trying as I’ve done for other things, that something will appear. Speaking of which, whilst writing just now I had a phone interview for one of the jobs I applied for and I’ll be hearing back from them tomorrow if they want to give me an interview. Hopefully, that’s a good sign!



I’d like to say that I took this photo, but I didn’t. As of yet, I’ve still been unwell to walk through my woods and capture autumn. Though it’s something I plan to do real soon. Autumn is my favourite time of year, because I love watching everything change and nature just seems out in force. I don’t like the colder, wetter weather though nor how dark it is, but the beauty that is currently out there is worth it.


Tomorrow, I’ll be out in my home city, handing out more CVs and playing D&D. That’ll be the next post I write. So for the rest of the day I’m going to work on the first chapter of the novel idea by my boyfriend and also do some reading.




Author’s own collection (St James’. Liverpool)



On The Job Hunt

So, today I finished my dissertation and one week tomorrow I’ll be handing it in. I’m really excited to have finished it now, but also a little sad because it now means that I’ve nothing else to do and I’ll have to face up to the true adult world and get myself a job. The step up from student-hood isn’t going to be easy, but I know it’s going to be just as exciting and fun, if I stay positive.
Problem is I know how hard it is to find a job, let alone your dream job! I spent the 6 months in between finishing my BA and starting my MA looking for one and had only rejection replies or heard nothing at all. Now, I face being back on that pile and stuck like most people in the vicious circle of being out of work, not finding anything, getting depressed, giving up, living off the dole, deciding to give it one more shot, still finding nothing and still being out of work.
I watch the news and know that there’s so little movement in the job market, that employers are only taken the best of the best, that now because they receive three times the number of applicants that they can offered to be so fussy in their choosing. Also people are not actually moving up or out of their current jobs, due to the lack of new jobs and people getting promoted. This means that there is hardly any openings and when a new job appears its a bit like a gold rush- everyone applying, but only some getting the reward (interview and job)- I know not a lot can be done about this issue and it’s all to do with the economy and money. Things that when you are young don’t bother you so much.
I think people fresh out of uni with a BA or MA are very employable. Perhaps we lack on experience, but we are very determined, easy to train, brighten up places, have new ideas and can bring so much into a work place that maybe an older person can’t. Like I said though, employers can now be so picky and it’s hard work making yourself stand out all the time. How else though can you get seen in a crowd of similar people?
When I write my CV I think of all the things I’ve already accomplished in life. My eduction doing an MA, getting a 2.1 in my BA, my A-levels, animal care, GCSEs. Years of eduction and hard work trying to prove that I can do things. My working as a student ambassador, guide and blogger, all those countless hours working at UCAS and HE fairs, open days, applicant days, school visits, writing posts about uni life and what I’ve been up to. Also volunteering in a charity shop for the last two years. My work experience, how I’ve over come difficult problems in dealing with people or having to do lots of things at once, working as a team and being a leader when called for, problem solving when I’ve to. My skills and hobbies, Writing- novels, short stories, poems, blogs, diaries, reading everything I can, editing, crafting, computers, being creative, gardening, cooking, pets, socialising, music, movies, history, nerd and dark things.
It’s surprising once written down, how much has happened and been achieved in life.
My dream job would be to become a full time novelist and be earning lots of money to live well. That’s a long, hard road and often full of disappointment, emptiness and loss of ones self before anything is truly accomplished. On reflection many writers wonder why they go down this road and a few give up even before they have fully started or after a few years. Most earn enough to become stable, but take on other jobs like teaching and editing to earn more, whilst the lucky few get to become famous and make thousands. I’ve never imaged myself in the lucky category, I think of myself has being almost the most. All I’ve ever wanted from my writing has been to share it with the world and for people to receive the same joy reading it as I’ve got out writing it. I’ve seen the money as a bonus, but not a way to survive.
Issue is I find myself questioning what else can I do. Writing is me, my life and world, without writing I feel like nothing. For whatever reason I feel that my place on the planet is to write and share stories, inspire others and perhaps make someone else’s world that little bit more special. Yes, I’ve lots of skills I can apply to other jobs with and maybe I’d make a good teacher or manger, but no matter what I do, writing shall always be a large part of me. With that I guess I better go and start the job hunt.